Black lives matter

 Black lives Matter and me!

Since the death of George Floyd and the worldwide Black Lives Matter protests, I have been reflecting on how I feel as a black woman. I want to talk about my experiences as a way releasing my emotions, reclaim who I am and move on with my life. It is often the case that a wrong done to someone, reminds you of your own hurt and insecurities and acts as a catalyst for your own healing.   This I think is what I am experiencing right now.

I know there have been some debate on why focus on black lives, “All lives matter” as there are so many others forms of inequalities that affect people in different ways, such as gender, religion, class, ethnicity etc.  Recently I listened to someone who explained it very well; he said that  if you have three children and one of them is very sick, you will give him/her more attention but that does not mean you do not care about all your children equally! This is why I think the focus should be on “Black Lives Matter”.  The black people are hurting because of the injustices they continue to experience.

The death of George Floyd has raised the issue of racism toward black people in USA, in UK and other parts of the world and I would like to talk about how racism has affected me.

My experience

As a survivor of the Rwanda genocide against the Tutsi, I lived with discrimination in my country of birth because I was a Tutsi. I have talked a lot about it and one thing I know is that it has prepared me to be resilient.  It also has made me very sensitive to discrimination and racism and has given me a passion to fight for justice and equality.

Without a doubt, like many other black people, the current events and protests have reminded me of all the experiences of racism and discrimination that I have been through.

I would divide my experience in 3 categories namely;

1. Ignorance or curiosity

When I moved to live in Belgium and then the UK, as well as travelling to few countries in Asia, I have met people who have been curious about the way I look.

I had someone offering me money to buy soap and clean my skin, children wanting to touch me and find out if the black colour will come off. Even if it was hurtful and surprising that is still happening in 21^th century, I always put those behaviours to ignorance and curiosity. I know that when my white friends travel with me in Rwanda, mainly in rural area, people look at them as if they are coming from another planet and would also touch their skins. However, the difference is that in many parts of Africa, especially among the older generation, the white people are still seen as superior having a lot of money, coming to save the poor people. I know that in Europe, some people still look down on black people and others even label them as poor, thieves, violent… This is a stereotyping of people that goes on within our societies, which is based on ignorance and inaccurate information and the experience of a few.

When I experience ignorance or curiosity, I can be annoyed but not upset.

2. Racism/ discrimination

I have also experienced pure racism because of the colour of my skin quite few times. At least twice, I met property owners who clearly told me that they do not let their property to black people and refused me a place to live! I have been refused service in a restaurant. One of my worse experiences was when I took my daughter (when she was 7) and my niece to Lanzarote on holiday because she wanted to go there like all her white friends. Twice we were refused service in the restaurant.  I had the same experience in restaurants in central London. I feel belittled  when I enter a shop and the sales assistant keeps an eye on me. This happened a lot when I lived in Belgium. I find it unacceptable when at the airport I am asked inappropriate questions because I have a Belgian passport and I am black. All they want to know it that my passport is not fake and that my photo is real.

I could go on and on but I also know that my experiences are nothing compared to what other black people have experienced especially black men.

I have always challenged racism and have encouraged my friends and family to do the same. I find it hard to ignore it and move on without saying something.  In some cases, challenging such deep-seated thoughts and behaviours has left me feeling vulnerable. Now if for example I have to go to a restaurant on my own in a place I do not know, I think twice as I do not want to be humiliated.

3. Lack of cultural understanding

I am a girl guide and belong to a worldwide movement. I was privileged to work for the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts (WAGGGS), an international organisation that allowed me to meet and work with people of different colours all over the world. I would not say I experienced racism in my career at WAGGGS. However, there have been a few occasions where I experienced a lack of cultural understanding/ awareness and hurtful stereotypes. During some international events in Africa, sometimes there was  division between participants from western and Africa Region and I did not like it as I believe these events were meant to build a strong intercultural connection.   I was uncomfortable when few young women from developing countries attending events in some WAGGGS World centres told me that they felt discriminated or not well understood. I found it disturbing when stereotypes where used to justify some attitudes.  In these cases, I always reacted talking to my colleagues to make sure we addressed these challenges[N1] .

 Now looking back, I wish I had advocated more for a robust cultural understanding, diversity and inclusion training for all WAGGGS staff and volunteers.  I feel that there has to be fair representation of the diversity in all WAGGGS governance structures including the staff leadership team.

My actions/beliefs

Since a young age, I have been very passionate about peaceful coexistence between people and the respect of human rights. I have never supported or affirmed division based on difference of race, ethnic, religion or colour….

Being a girl guide in Rwanda gave me the possibility to work with other young people and fight ethnic division. Working for WAGGGS gave me a chance to work with more young women from across the world.  I am a firm believer that the best way to fight division is through formal and non-formal education, making sure that every child/ young person grows up in an environment where acceptance and respect of each other is a way of life. As a survivor of the Rwanda genocide, I have been advocating for peace building by sharing my experiences and thoughts on co-existence and mutual understanding

The brutal killing of George Floyd, has challenged me to take positive action in challenging racism and discrimination. I want to be involved with grass roots organisations that tackle the causes of racism! Yes, I have signed petitions, attended webinars to discuss the issues, shared resources about black history but I would like to do more!

It is now my commitment to find an organisation in UK that works with young people in addressing the root cause of racism and be involved in it.

I also hope that we as individuals will take time to think about our own stereotypes and biases towards other cultures, races and people with a different colour from us. I personally need to challenge my own bias toward my own race.

I hope in UK and other parts of the world governments will make sure that schools curricula teach a balanced and comprehensive history. I would like to see organisations that support parents to educate children at home in a way that will help them to grow up respecting and accepting that we are all different and children of God. I hope there will be always justice for people who experience racism or discrimination of any form.

I am feeling very hopeful that there will be positive changes in the future. It is the first time in my experience that I have seen so many young people from different backgrounds and races protesting together against racism worldwide.  Changing is coming but we must work for it.